Monologue. First performed as opening speech for «Between the Lines», a #MeeToo poster exhibition by students and staff at The Art Academy in Oslo.

Please allow me to introduce myself

I’m a beast of wealth and taste

Pleased to meet you

Hope you guess my name

But what's puzzling you

Is the nature of my game

Just as every cop is a criminal

And all the sinners saints

As heads are tails

Just call me PATRIARCHY Just call me CLASS Just call me PRIVELEGE

'Cause I'm in need of some restraint

I was extinct a long time ago

Completely inadequate by now

Useless, heavy, high maintenance

But you keep me alive

In your minds

In your actions

Breathe my breath

Tend my old heart

Would rather not hurt me

Poor you

How will you know

With all these gray zones?

Like, are you not allowed to be a man anymore now? Not allowed to be a woman anymore? Can you no longer fall in love now? Are you not allowed to flirt, not allowed to have sex anymore now?

What a witch-hunt! WITCH-HUNT!

Power is transparent from the inside, opaque from the outside, this is one of my greatest tricks

Your own power is invisible to you

Only everyone else sees it

It gets quiet in the room when you enter

You feel a little dangerous,

Like a rock star maybe

Like one of them, just a bit better

More central

More relevant


More beautiful



So cool

So cool

That's me

When you say 'and when you're a star they let you do it, you can do anything, grab them by the pussy'

When the victim carries the shame

That's me.

I’ve been around for hundreds, thousands of years, so long that you think I'm nature itself.

So smart!

When you say the professors marry the prettiest girls

When you say 'they’re building a career'

When you think it's part of the game

Real women have always been able to put a man in his place

Or when you don’t believe he did it, he has such a beautiful wife/ girlfriend/ boyfriend

Or: she is so popular and loved

she can have anybody, why should she bother?

He must have done something, it takes two to tango

Gold Digger

That’s me.

When you fantasize about black men with ‘the little extra’

And they have such a good rhythm

Great at hip hop and jazz ballet, but maybe not so great at ballet or opera

How the Asians are best at maths and incredible when it comes to computer stuff

So disciplined, so neat, almost like machines actually

And Asian women are very accommodating in bed

When a female minister says 'no, I'm no feminist'

When a professor says 'feminism has failed, it has only produced mediocrity'

Haha! HahahaHAAAA!

That's me!

Because I'm really SMART, like genius! And a STABLE genius at that.

That's me

making you say: I've worked hard for all I have, I deserve this position, these privileges

And: If they are so clever, why are they not in the boardrooms then?

Or in the collections? In power? There is obviously some biological factor that makes them LIKE subordinate positions! They want to be led. Need to be led. They like it! One must respect their choice! Anything else would be patronizing.

That's me.

Who writes about female sociopaths, who use their femininity to manipulate men

Playing them like puppets

She’s dangerous, unreliable

Their desire is her fault, she makes them want her, she drives them crazy, she makes them do what she wants

Just look at her!

That's me.

That’s me who allows you to call people escaping from a country you've bombed and destroyed to protect your own interests in the territory an 'invasion'

Who allows ministers to get all teary and say they are not cold people, they are actually warm, good, caring Christians, it's just that we can not help EVERYBODY, then nobody would be left where they come from

They must fix their own problems

It’s for their own good

They need to stop blaming others

The colonial era is long gone

What an old excuse, don’t even try it

We gave you freedom, now what do you want?

Like: please mention just ONE important art piece made by an African, and I mean really important

That's me

Who says that the Mediterranean art treasures are better kept in northern European museums

Down there they are unable to take care of them, can only be trusted with plaster casts and copies

They’re charming, of course, with their big brown eyes, like children almost, but completely irresponsible


You know


gay, all of them, of course.

That's me

Who says you deserve it

Whatever it is

You chose it yourself

Wanted it

Worked for it, it was a choice and it was yours

Who puts women in jail for claiming the right to their own bodies

Locking them in

Saying: violence is a part of sexuality, that the liberty to seduce and importune is essential

Forcing some sense into their heads

And it was me, of course, who invented the mother of all dirty jokes:

What is a woman?

A life support system for a cunt

That's me.